Christmas RAW Review!

After braving the savage wastelands that were Toys R Us and Best Buy two days before Christmas, I am rewarded with the responsibility of writing the review for the RAW Christmas Special, because no good deed goes unpunished.  And while I'll maintain that 90% of the shoppers shopping the week before Christmas are scumbags (another blogpost for another day), I have little time to dwell on the atrocities I was forced to witness, because RAW IS ON! 

"Something is very wrong with the good Santa..."

-  I get why these Christmas episodes exist, seeing as the product is geared toward children now.  At least this year's installment of Raw Christmas looks to have a better storyline than "face Del Rio runs over Santa".

-  Kane pls stop... what are you even...  I honestly didn't mind the Libertarian Kane angle... but they've done so little with it it's kind of sad.

-  The card actually looks decent tonight.  Maybe the matches will make up for the Christmas puns.

-  I forgot that RAW wasn't live tonight.  The prerecorded cheers and boos reminded me.  Are they even trying to make it sound like a sound effect?

-  We hate Cena guy pls go.  You are the worst kind of fan.

-  WWEWH Champion.  Do they see how silly that looks.

-  Kane still has superpowers.

-  12 Divas Jingle Belles match...

Start the Divas stopwatch.

- At least we'll get AJ emasculating the announce team.

- K8lyn wearing camo because TEXAS.

- Quick tags, great tag team fundamentals.

-  AJ pls.

-  This spot... pls stop... no... the crowd is booing...

-  I don't know why but I always feel like these hair brained Diva's spots are Natalya's ideas.

3 minutes and 40 seconds too long.

-  Good start, who can keep this momentum going?

- >more miles than Santa clause... WWE stahp.

- Magical runes in that tattoo gave Sin Cara the ability to speak english.

- We know, Sin Cara had a comic in Mexico.  We know how to use the app.  Die Cole Die.

-  JBL using the same bad jokes every week is making me not like him.  And not in the heel sort of way.

-  I'm actually about to put my TV on mute.

-  Hunico isn't as mobile as Mistico was but he's much more consistent.  Also, I don't think Hunico runs with a gang of masked luchadores. 

Pic related, it's Mistico and his thugs.

-  Now normally, in the event of a Smackdown review, we here at GREATBLACKBLOG have our Vomit chans locked and loaded.  However last week, Smackdown was better than RAW.  Hopefully this becomes a trend.

-  Why is bad Santa homeless?

-  Big Show: from main events to diapers in only a month.

"I'm not Dave Batista"

-  I wish they could have kept the Batista thing under wraps... I love Big Dave and would have marked my dreads off if I didn't see it coming.

-  ITS NOT SNOWING IN AUSTIN WWE IS A LIAR. 

-  I actually saw TLC live, and the Wyatts are only cooler in person.  I'm interested to see where they actually go with this, but odds are it goes nowhere and leads to Daniel Bryan losing to Sheamus at Wrestlemania in 18 seconds again.

-  Wait a minute... are Smackdown stories overflowing onto RAW? 

-  Never got a chance to say it, but Goldust was AMAING at TLC.  The fact that he's busting out new moves at his age is a testament to just how good he is, and the opportunity WWE missed with him before.  Hurricanranas?  Not even "The Natural" Dustin Runnels did that!

TIME FOR BRAY

(just kidding I love you Bray...)

-  Honestly, I wouldn't mind if DBD joined the Wyatt family.  So long as he starts caving peoples heads in again, I'm down for anything.

-  YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH

-  I had Taco Bell yesterday.  It was a mistake.

-  I get a serious case of beard envy watching this match.  All I can ever grow is this crappy goatee.  Lord only knows I would have rock a full on Hollywood Hogan.  BROTHER.

2SPOOKY4ME

UNLEASH THE DRAGON

-  "Daniel Bryan has small nipples."  "I wonder if they're actually friends in real life."  "That black haired guy is so regular." "Does he have a third nipple?" #stuffmygfsaysduringraw

-  GOLDUST PLS STOP BEING SO AMAZING.

-  I love how Bray made sure to still get a peck on the forehead before doing Sister Abigale.  Very fun match.

-  DAH

-  DAH?

- DAH.

-  What do I have to do to get WWE to send me a title?

-  I'm blaming JBL and Cole for killing Wade Barret's career.

-  Singing contest.  This can only go well.

-  MAH BOY XAVIER WOODS KILLING IT THOUGH.

-  If this was 2002, Troof and Woods would have had to have beat Brodus Clay for the Funkadactyl's contracts.

-  Renee Young is a qtp2t though.

-  Gran Khalil may be the most confused person on the planet.  I guess it has been about seven years since the Eugene gimmick.

-  Christmas present on a pole match?

"RUSSSSSOOOOOOO!!!!"

-  That feel when you've caught up to RAW and have to watch commercials.  HARD TIMES DADDEH.

- I don't even want to watch this.  This time last year Dolph was beating Cenee in the PPV main event.  I'm not going to watch this.  Onto /wooo/ I go.

-  And I'm back.

-  Tribute to the Troops has always been one of my favorite annual events.  To bad it comes off as super forced in these commercials.  Or maybe I'm over critical.  Or maybe they made me this way.

- Kevin Hart is in too many things.  I guess you have to ride the lighting while you are hot.

-  I could always tell the Bella's apart (even before crisis) but I honestly can't tell the Usos apart.

-  Austin pls...

-  The THIS IS AUSTIN spot is pretty funny.  I lol'd.

-  Yes, you too could stop wrestling and become a superstar actor like The Rock!

-  I'm going to go ahead and not watch this too.

-  Well RAW is starting to drag on.  Main even should be good though.

-  Cena Punk Big E promo was fun.  Felt very old school, kind of felt like the mega powers.  I let out a chortle.

Big E is Miss Elizabeth...

-  I just noticed that Cesaro's jacket says Tony and Swagger's says Big Hoss. BAHAHA.

-  This match...

-  Los Matadores haven't lost on Christmas week...

THE RIDE NEVER ENDS

- Kofi coming out for what I can only assume as filler.  As long as the Miz stays off my TV we'll be alright.

-  Roybeck ween.

I hope they build Ryback to be fed to Batista.

-  The SHEEL looks united again.  I'm glad that they appear to be going with a very slow burn to their break up.  They deserve better than breaking up on a whim.

-  Don't let me down, main event.  I've suffered through so much.

-  Reigns is a perfect example of how much someone can improve without anyone noticing if you surround them with the right people and book them properly.  Looking forward to watching him eliminate 20 guys at the Royal Rumble.

Punk loves round housing Dean.

-  Big 5 is the hot tag and nearly won the match... is this... the rise of 5???

-  Another DQ finish to RAW.

-  A pretty exciting finish to RAW,

Christmas RAW is a necessary evil, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been.  If anything, reviewing these shows makes me realize how freaking long these three hour shows are.  To me... it just too long and too much filler.  Like a shonen anime.  I very much prefer the one our format of NXT or even the two hour format of Smackdown.  

But what do you think?  Is RAW unbearably long?  Or should it be longer?? And what did you think of this year's Christmas edition of Monday Night RAW?  Let us know! Leave a comment or send a tweet!

- BW