Top 5 Fictional Characters I'm Suing!

This weekend, the story broke out that highly respected actress/socialite Lindsay Lohan was preparing her case to sue Rockstar Games for what she described as a distinct similarity between herself and Poppy Mitchell, a less than minor character in the latest entry in the Grand Theft Auto series.  Granted, this suit may be a bit groundless, but it's not like the video game industry has never taken a celebrity's likeness and used it without their permission.

Here's looking at you, last of us.

So by that logic, if every female blonde character is Lindsay Lohan, then surely every dreadlocked character is me, and who doesn't need a few extra bucks for the holidays?  So here are my top five fictional characters that I'm going to sue for using my likeness without permission.

5. Xaldin (Kingdom Hearts)

It's pretty obvious guys.  Those dreadlocks.  That hoodie.  Them sick spear skills.  If Xaldin from the Kingdom Hearts series got a little tanner, he'd be lining up at right tackle and wearing number 73.

 

4. Clifford (The Muppets)

Anyone who knows me knows I rock red dreads almost bi-annually.  Combined that with the sweet specs, and facial hair, and you've got Brennan Williams in puppet form.  He's a bass player too?! Pay up Henson!

3. Young Garterbelt (Panty & Stocking)

I know, I know.  I was as shocked as you were to see that young Garterbelt was so obviously based on me.  From the look, to the swag, to the Scarface backstory.  That, and I too have been cursed with immortality... as far as I know...

2. Eddie Gordo (Tekken)

This one was just too obvious.  Granted, I only took a half a semester of Portuguese.  Granted, I took Teakwondo and not Capoeira.  And granted a can't dance to save my life.  But by god I might as well have mo-capped this guy.  Pay up Namco!

1. a Predator (Predator franchise)

So what if the predator property has existed since before I was born?  Everyone knows I've always had issues with Arnold Schwarzenegger.  These alien hunters are obviously based on me in my gear.  Maskless? Not so much... right guys? 

...right?